For awhile now I’ve been waking up to Beethoven, thanks to one of those CD/Radio alarm clocks. I had hoped sweet, ethereal, soul-ish music would cut through the painful brain fog of waking. I imagined soft notes wafting around the room, caught up in a slow dance with the morning light. The shadows of night would be rendered powerless with Beethoven in the room.

Instead, I effectively ruined an otherwise exquisite violin sonata. Instead, I mash the snooze button before the end of the first bar. Only to hear the muted violinist pick up where he left off nine minutes earlier and scratch out several more notes before his execution. Sacrilegious, I know, using a good piece of music like that. If I’m lucky I wake with spinning of CD before the music ever begins.

I hope I’m never at a concert when this particular piece is played. I will break the violin over the concertmaster’s head.

If waking pain is strong enough to ruin Beethoven, maybe I should fight fire with fire, as the saying goes. Reduce pain by inflicting greater pain. For the first time in my life I might actually buy a polka album. Or a nausea-inducing, eardrum-bursting, nihilistic, nails-on-chalkboard, heavy metal album.

On the other hand I could stay with classical and go with Cage instead of Beethoven. His 4’33” piece would be particularly soothing.

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3 Responses to Waking

  1. Arla says:

    Yeah, get the ugly music. When some of our children were little I was sewing one day and listening to Mozart. For whatever reason, one of the older children started singing along with the words, “Spank Frances, Spank Frances”, etc. Very sad! Because now whenever we hear that piece we are still hearing the words. 🙂

  2. Shari says:

    Oh dear. But think of your poor wife!

    I love CD alarm clocks–but the only song I found I could awake to without ruining forever was “Here Comes the Sun.” You have to let it play through, and awake slowly and luxuriously.

    Very nice smashed-violin-over-concertmaster’s-head image. 🙂

  3. This cracks me up. May I suggest fighting back with bluegrass??

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